So now that I've finally got a belly and and can feel the baby move a lot every day, the fact that I'm preagnant is slowly sinking in and occasionally accompanied by panic! Mostly I'm positive, but I do get nervous sometimes when I think about things financially. My husband really wants to buy this place that we're in and is sort of pushing me into it, and I'm stubbornly planting my feet. There's no way this is a good idea right now. Maybe next year or the year after, but this year has enough change going as it is. In 4 more months we will have a little son, I will probably have to change jobs so that I can work part time. I also want more than my alotted 6 weeks maternity leave; I want at least 3 months. Plus if I have to go back to work full time, I need to find a sitter or a daycare or something, but I think that's lame because you're basically working to pay for daycare. I know for a fact we'd be fine on Zack's salary alone but he doesn't believe me. What I actually think it is, is he doesn't want to surrender his whole paycheck. But I understand that he doesn't really get what it's going to mean to him to be a dad, I know that will hit him when he can hold the baby. And after that he might be more understanding, I hope. Don't get me wrong! He's totally excited to be a dad, and really very sweet about it. I just don't think it's really a reality for him yet. I have a feeling it will hit him like a ton of bricks. So out of all my possible ways to worry about the baby, it's only money that scares me. And we can't take money with us when we go, right? So, essentially, I have no worries. :)
As for names for the baby, I'm at a loss! I LOVED Zackery Cash Maxedon and we'd call him Cash, but for some reason Zack started not to like it, and it's important to me that we both like the name. But whatever we decide, it will be Zackery "Something" Maxedon and we will call him by his middle name. Other names that I really like are Blake, Brooks, Courter, Calvin, and Coy (Coy has a special meaning to me because since the day I've been able to feel him move the best thing I've been able to use to describe the feeling was a Koi fish!) Zack said he kind of likes Courter and he's the one who suggested naming him Coy after I told him about Koi fish, but he's more picky than I am about a name. I would really like a name picked out within the next month though, so hopefully one will stick. Even though I know that sometimes after you see the baby you may name him something else.
I've been able to feel the baby move though from the outside for about a week! That was so exciting. And everytime he gets squirmy I put Zack's hand on my belly and the little punk stops moving. I swear he thinks it's funny ;). But one time Zack did feel him a little bit but I really want Zack to be able to feel a good kick.
My belly's getting bigger every week and last week my friend Beth and I went to Farmington and I bought 2 pairs of maternity jeans which are AWESOME. It's like wearing PJs to work. I also got a couple maternity tops which I will start wearing in a couple weeks when I'm a little bigger. I can still wear most of my pre-pregnancy tops right now.
Other thing not preganncy related: I'm super excited about the movie Shutter Island which I'm going to see next weekend with my friend Erin. It looks super suspenseful. Also I'm really excited for Alice in Wonderland which comes out on the 5th and I HAVE to go see it. I've been waiting since the summer for it!
Zack's parents bought a house in Phoenix, AZ so they will be moved down there by the end of March. It's kind of a bummer that they won't be here when the baby's born but they aren't too far. Too bad they didn't buy a house somewhere cool. There's no way I will move to Phoenix. It embodies the 2 things I always said I didn't like: the desert and the city. Plus if I'm going to move away (as in out of Durango) it will be somewhere I want to go, not just any old place. Luckily Zack feels the same way about Phoenix so we don't have to worry about that. Honestly if he said he really wanted to move there too, I might bend. But I don't even have to think about that.
I really wanted to try to do a mini-vacation with Zack before the baby comes but I'm not sure that's going to happen. Maybe in the fall or winter will be a better time. I wonder if our baby will be travel-friendly? Guess we'll see! But I've been trying to focus on places that I may be willing to move to. Like the East Coast (like North or South Carolina) or Texas (Austin, San Antonio). Visiting somewhere is a must before you move there. So a few more years of visiting and maybe we'll move somewhere. Maybe.
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