Oh. My. Gosh.

So all last week I was feeling slightly off. Monday I had a fever and felt exhausted, then Tuesday and Wednesday were OK, then Thursday I had a fever again. I just figured I was getting sick.

I wasn't.

Friday morning my eyes popped open at 5:00am (my alarm's set for 6:00am) after having a dream that I took a pregnancy test and it clear as day said in black letters "Preggo" (funny, right?). At this point I was technically like 3 days late, but that wasn't a big deal and if I hadn't started by Saturday I was going to take a test. But then I thought "Well, if I'm pregnant now it's not like I'm going to be anymore pregnant on Saturday." So I got up and took a test.

One line. Totally normal. I've taken tests before because I'm that girl who always thinks she's pregnant (probably because I never have been before, so I didn't know what to look for.) So I brush my teeth and am taking off my makeup and what's this? Is that another line? Maybe I have makeup remover in my eye, maybe I'm still blurry from sleep... Nope. That's another line! *expletive*

The expletive was more from shock than anything else. I didn't really expect it to come out positive. I guess maybe I was used to negative every time I took one.

Friday was a weird day for me. I was full of swimming nerves. I imagined telling people and me being me I always picture the worst reaction. I was so nervous! I did tell my friend Beth (she's a mom, too) and asked her to look at the test with me to make sure I was reading it right. She said that's what hers looked like. So I started chugging water so at my lunch I could take another test, though this time it was the +/- kind. And wouldn't you know it? It errored out! I think it was because I was drinking too much water and it diluted out the hormones? That's my guess. I could sort of see a faint plus sign, but I wasn't sure. So after work I went and bought the digital yes/no tests and they were a definite YES. By the way, I totally recommend those ones so you're not wondering if you're seeing things.

I STILL didn't tell Zack that night. I was just so nervous! I guess I thought he might be mad (which is totally ridiculous, but you know, I was all doomy.) So Saturday I showed up at his work and told him to come with me to my car and I showed him my tests.

"Oh my God, you're pregnant!" he said.

But he was smiling.

He's totally excited! He called everyone on his contact list on his cellphone last night. My Mom cried, my sister was speechless, and my Dad even cried. I'm not sure if Snoopy cried, but she seemed excited, too.

And what about me?

I'm feeling so much better. I felt a whole lot better after I told Zack, and the more people I told, the better I felt. I'm getting totally excited! I'm terrified, but excited. And it's amazing how you take better care of yourself when you know someone elses life depends on you, too. I know it's only been 3 days, but I had some Sierra Mist yesterday and I felt bad! I'm all about the water now. It's still pretty surreal, and I think it will be more real after I get my first ultrasound (on Nov. 13th) so I can see or hear something. Proof, you know? At any rate, I think I'm totally in love again.

I really hope everything goes OK. I know some couples choose not to tell people until after the first trimester, but it's totally hard to keep that kind of secret! I dare you to try!

So, now the stats: First doctor's visit is November 13th (pray for us that it's only one little heartbeat. It's totally possibly for us to have multiples as we both have them in our families.) The due date is June 29th, 2010. In the first part of January is when we ought to be able to find out the gender. And I'm currently 5 weeks along. :)

On the Other Hand, I have Chai and Cashmere...

So, The start of a new week, and a new month, and a new season! As much complaining I do about the cold, I really do enjoy the fall. It's inspiring! It makes me want to knit, and sew, and cook, and really makes me wish I took a Home Ec class.


But today it really is coooooold. There's snow up on the mountains and I'll grant them they're very pretty. I'm at least happy that I don't live anywhere desolate. I like the variety of weather and of the terrain. If Colorado had a beach, it'd be the most perfect place to live. We have mountains and rivers and deserts and lakes and snow and dirt and rocks and trees and animals and 300 days of sunshine. Also we have so many different kinds of people: Cowboys and hippies and yuppies and blue-collar and white-collar. I guess I should count myself among the blessed, restless though I am.


It's amazing to me how different all of my blog posts are! One day I hate my job, and the next I'm excited for snow? Whoa. Those of you who read my blog must be exhausted! And speaking of my job, I'm ok with it. I am still keeping my eyes wide for another oppotunity, but hey, at least I have a job. Again, one among the blessed.


And I'm grateful for my husband! I feel bad for him because I'm not always the most affectionate, but I do love him very much. Adore, even! He really is the epitome of a great husband. He can fix things, and he can cook, and he helps me, and he believes in me, and most importantly he loves me. There's only one other man who rivals Zack for the position of #1 in my life, and that's my dad.

And all of my friends! I only have a handful of close ones, but that's all I need. I wish they all lived closer though.

Something I realized lately is that I have a lot of mother-figures, and I'm so amazed by that. My Mom, Snoopy, Paula, Pam, Oma, and Kathy to name a few. It's great to have so many different spouts of advice available to me.

I'm not rich and I wasn't brought up rich and now that I'm grown I wouldn't have it any other way. It doesn't matter. Going through school I was always intimidated by the rich girls who were so shiny I could see my reflection most days. I don't know how they're all doing or where they all are, but I hope the glitter took them where they wanted to be. I know that I'm almost where I want to be.