How Did I Get So Lucky?

Month THREE is well under way with being a mom. Greyson is almost 10 weeks old already, and he's just awesome. He sleeps most of the night - only getting up 2x to eat and/or for a change. He rarely cries - only when he's hungry or wants to change position. AND he's super cute! I can't get over it! He also looks like a complete boy. I say this as a mom and as a by-stander with absolute modesty: He's a good lookin' kid. Even with a trail of spit-up down his shirt....

Also I'm surprised by how easy it was to transition into being grossed out. I guess when you love something you just do it, no matter how smelly, sticky, wet, messy, or gross. Did you know that before Greyson was born I'd never had to change one poopy diaper? I'd always get whoever else was with me to do it. And NOW I get concerned if he wakes up and takes more than 2 hours of awake time to poo. I've been peed on, puked on, and 2 weeks ago I was pooped on. And what worse, is I just wipe it off and keep going. When I was pooped on we were about to go to the store and didn't have time to change (we weren't home, we were visiting Aunt Amy in Phoenix) so I went to the store with a yellow spot on my jeans. Oh well. I guess when you see poo a million times a day it doesn't gross you out, PLUS it's just baby breastmilk poo, which is sooooo mild. I guess in a couple months when he starts eating human food (lol) it'll start getting gross. I'm sure I'll get used to that too.

We went to Phoenix about 2 weeks ago and it was Greyson's first plane ride, and he did great! He slept the whole flight there and even though he was awake on the flight home he only fussed once when he was hungry which was easily remedied. After all, aside from all the love what's a new mom if not a wonderfully warm and squishy and more importantly portable vending machine? But the trip was great, Greyson got to meet his AZ Grandparents who loved him and the rest of the AZ family. Almost all the little cousins were there (we missed our cousin from Utah, Henry) and a bunch of other family from Zack's Stepmom Pam. It was her surprise birthday weekend and it was so cool to meet and re-meet the lot of them! We have SEVEN little boys in the family. How cool! Including one who was also born earlier this year, Reid. I'm hoping he and Greyson will be good friends.

Also I've been trying my hand at being a SAHM (stay at home mom) and taking care of Greyson is easy, it's housework that sucks. But I get to spend every second with My Lil Hunny and I'm so grateful. Money's been tight, to say the least. For example we are paying this month's rent in installments (thanks to wonderful landlords). But if all goes as planned I will be working come October. I'm getting a business up and running called girlFriday, Durango. For those of you who don't know what a Girl Friday is, it's a "female assistant with a wide range of duties, a right-hand woman". So basically I'm going to go to different offices and do all their Etc-type work. Like filing, cleaning, errands, data-entry, and whatever else they need me to. The only catch is I'm bringing Greyson with me. Hopefully I'll get a few consistent gigs (that's all I need really). And who knows? Maybe this will just explode with interest and I can hire people. It's perfect for moms with kids they don't want to/can't afford to put into Day Care. Day Care sucks and it's super expensive. I believe it's good for older toddlers though to get socialized but it sucks for moms. So maybe in the future it could be an option, but right now it's totally not in the cards. I'll do what I have to to keep Greyson home/with me. So anyway, if you know of anyone who needs a little help, even if it's a one-time thing, let me know! ;)

Big news! I can fit into my old jeans!! It's so awesome! But I still feel chubby in my face :( but it could be my hair... I'm trying to grow it out but it's at a really odd length. If my Dad is reading this, Yes, I know there's only one way to remedy chubbiness.

And I'm struggling with a Halloween costume for Greyson. I want us to be related somethings. Like my original idea was he was going to be Gingy from Shrek and I'd be Fiona, but I can't find a gingerbread man outfit for the life of me and am having an even harder time finding warm fabric to make his costume. So I've quit on that idea. Then I thought maybe he could be Dale Jr and I could be his pit crew (I have a racergirl costume that I never wore, but I will have to modify it since I'd be walking around with my baby - it might be a little too.... "cute" for a mommy). Somebody gave him a Dale Jr outfit as a babygift.

Though admittedly we still don't know who it was! We can't figure it out! It just showed up one day with no note or anything or return address (it was delivered right from the company, so who knows...). So if it was you, come forward! I'd love to Thank You for it!

I think Greyson's going to be a righty! He's discovered that he can suck on his fists when his pacifier is MIA and he only sucks on his right one. We thought he might be a lefty since Zack and his mom both were leftys. I guess he still could be but right now all signs point to Right. He's also full of smiles, but they're super hard to catch on camera because the second he sees the camera he gets all serious and focused on what-the-heck-is-mom-pointing-at-me.

But it's so fun to see him smile reactively. He's <  > this close to laughing. I can't wait!

Well I guess that's all my news. Which is pretty good for not writing in 2 months. I'll try to be better at it.

Love!

Zackery Greyson is here! A Birth Story...

Our new son, Greyson is finally here. He was born at 40 weeks and 5 days on July 3rd, at 11:12pm. He weighed 7lbs, 15oz and was 20 inches long.

I started having contractions at 2:45am on July 1st and were about 10-15 minutes apart and a minute long. Everyone told me they'd be unmistakable, and they were right. It was kind of like cramping right in between my hips from bone to bone, and my tummy would tighten up harder than it ever did with the Braxton Hicks. It was like all of a sudden there was a huge boulder in my stomach. Though these first contractions were tolerable, I still couldn't sleep through because I was so excited that I was finally having them! So I stayed awake timing them. I didn't tell Zack right away (who was sleeping blissfully unaware) because I wanted him to get some sleep because I was going to need him. But about an hour or two after timing them he woke up by chance and I told him, and then his nerves kicked in and he couldn't sleep either. So we turned on a movie to pass the rest of the night.

Needless to say I didn't go to work, and Zack stayed home until about 9am, and when my contractions were still only about 10-15min apart (the hospital wants them to be 3-5 minutes apart), he went to work. My mom and sister came over and kept me company all day, and my mom took me on a walk which got my contractions to speed up while walking but as soon as we got back home they slowed back down to 10 minutes. They were getting stronger and more painful, but still technically too slow for us to go to the birth center. Finally they sped up to 7 min apart and we went to the hospital around 9pm and they hooked me all up and timed them and checked me. I was only 1cm which was no change from a my doctor's visit a few days before, and my contractions weren't getting any closer together. They called the on call doctor (mine was still out of town) and he told them to tell us to go home since he thought we'd be more comfortable there. I was so frustrated! I hadn't had any sleep since early that morning, and I knew I wouldn't get any sleep tonight, PLUS they were really starting to hurt! And I think that if my own doctor was there he would've come in and induced me since we were going on 24hrs with constant painful contractions. I think the on call doc just didn't want to step on any toes by inducing his partner's patient. So we go home and wait out the night. Zack slept but not me. I tried to sleep in between contractions, but it's really hard to do when you wake up every 7-15 minutes!

So Saturday the 3rd rolls around, I'm cranky, hurting, tired and discouraged. Zack's home with me and we're both trying to catch up on sleep, but really no go for me. These damn contractions were really starting to hurt but since they were still so "far" apart, I put off going to the Birth Center. Finally, at 3pm when I couldn't stand another one without some relief, we went to the hospital. I was so sure they were going to send us back home. No way was I going to be lucky enough to have my baby today, let alone ever (seriously that's how I felt. Like it would never happen). So they hook me up, check me, and I'm at least dilated to 2 1/2cm AND we find out OUR doctor is home! They called him and he told us to take a walk for about an hour and a half and see if that speeds up the contractions or makes me progress any further. An hour and a half later we come back, get hooked back up, and my doctor comes in and I'm at 5 1/2 cm and if he really wanted to he could probably stretch me to 7cm!! He then tells me that we're just going to break my water and get things moving. "But wait!" I say, "Can I get the epidural?" So I get the epidural before he breaks my water and y'all, it was seriously the most awesome thing ever. After 36 hours of contractions, it was bliss not to feel them any more. And it was also the oddest thing too. I thought my whole lower half would be numb to the touch and everything, but I could still move my legs deliberately, feel when someone was touching me, but the only thing I couldn't feel was the pain! I literally had to touch my belly to feel it harden under my hands to know that I had a contraction. The staff was all, "Did you feel that? That was a big one!" Nope, didn't feel it. One minor, minor complication I had was the epidural lowered my blood pressure to about 80/40 or something crazy like that, so they had to give me a shot of ephedrine or epinephrine (I don't know, guess I don't know my drugs) which brought it back to normal. Oh and they gave me a horrible tasting antacid that made me throw up. Anyway.... I tried to sleep, and honestly now I can't remember if I did. But my doctor came back about 2 hours later and checks me again, and I'm a 7, then again a couple hours later and I'm a 9. My mom still laughs at me that I'm on the phone with my grandma talking to her like nothing's happening. She says she'll never recommend a natural med-free birth again. She was amazed by the epidural. So was I!

So about and hour later (or something), Doc comes back and says I'm 9 1/2cm and lets have a baby. He suits up, manually slips the remaining cervix over the baby's head, and we start pushing with each contraction. The first half hour or 45 min were still relatively pain free, then once the baby started getting closer to exiting I could feel it, though it wasn't unbearable. And about that time I got that Urge to Push that so many moms talk about. I just couldn't help it! Sort of like a gag reflex but in reverse? And that's when the baby moved towards us the most. In total I pushed for about an hour and 15 minutes. He was born healthy, a good size and totally adorable. Once he was out they placed him immediately on my tummy and I remember just sort of petting him, vernix-covered and bloody and all. I also remember I didn't say much. I was just so tired, relieved, and happy that I didn't have to say anything. They took him away when I was ready and gave him to Zack for a few minutes. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing that he got emotional the second he was born and he was so in love too. I've got some great first pictures of him and Greyson that the nurse took. Then they weighed him, measured him, gave him a once over and gave him back to me. He was awesome.

My mom and sister came in (during delivery it was me, Doc, the nurse, and Zack. Perfect.) and visited. I think I tried to breastfeed then (again, some of this is foggy, I'm sure partly because the epidural, and partly because I was running on about 6 hours total sleep for the last 48 hours). And let me tell you, it hurt! The kid's got some pull! lol... but it was still great, and great to know that we wouldn't have a problem there.

They kept us the whole next day and night for monitoring, and even though I was there in hospital pain-free, I still didn't sleep much. I just wanted to hold him. And the staff kept having to come in and monitor our vitals, etc.

We got to come home on Monday the 5th, and spent our first day together as a family.

This whole time I never cried except in frustration from the pain. But I think it was Tuesday night when I was looking at my new son and just broke down. I just couldn't believe how much I love him. And it's a completely different kind of love that I've never felt before. He's perfect, he's sweet, he's soft, he's adorable. I cry thinking about him. All of a sudden I'm scared for him to grow! It almost makes me sad that he's already 5 days old. I want to keep him how he is forever, and yet I'm so excited for his future. I know that regardless of his choices he'll be a good soul. I can see it in him. Today he locked eyes with me for a few minutes and that was amazing. It might be silly to think it, but I think he's started to recognize me as family. And I think he recognizes the smell or feel of my skin because when I hold him to it he immediately starts rooting around for a boob, lol... Zack and I pulled out our own infant pictures to compare him to and I think he has Zack head and body, but my eyes, nose, and lips. At the moment his eyes are dark blue, and I'm excited to see if they'll stay blue like Zack's or turn hazel like mine. My ego wants them to turn hazel but I think they'd be so beautiful being the same blue as Zack's. His temperament so far is great, and he's a good sleeper. The first night home was rough, the 2nd was better, and last night was awesome. We went to sleep around 10:30pm, he woke up for boob and a change at 1:30am, and again at 3:30am. And then this morning I actually woke him up at 8am because I knew he needed to be changed and we were going on 5 hours without eating. I probably would've left him asleep if he didn't have a dirty diaper, but I desperately was to avoid diaper rash, especially now while his circumcision is healing. We're going to try a little sponge bath tomorrow, and I'm nervous for it! It'll be fine, but I know he won't like it.

Anyway, I could talk all day about our last few days, but I won't. In short, we're all in love (even the dogs.)

Last Post Before I'm a Mom! *GASP!*

Well, at least I hope it's the last post!

We'll be 40 weeks tomorrow and I'm getting soooo anxious to meet our son (still sort of weird saying that!) I can't remember if I mentioned it in my last post but we decided on a name: Zackery Greyson, and we'll call him Greyson! I'm excited to see who he looks like. I hope he has Zack's hair. I was born bald but Zack had the cutest fuzz :).

Of course, like all baby stories, thigns haven't gone quite as planned. My doctor, whom I've had since the beginning, told me in April that'd he'd be gone some time in June, but come to find out he meant he'd be gone for weeks 39 and 40 :(. I was pretty bummed about it at first, but really I'm ok with it. I had my first appointment with his back up doctor last Wednesday and I like him. He has "lady hands" lol, which I take to mean he's gentle. At least I hope so! Plus, I know for the most part you should care who your nurses are in the hospital, because they're the ones who'll be checking on you and hanging aroudn most often. BUT if Greyson decides to lead me on even further and doesn't come until next week, I'm pretty sure my original doctor will be back!

So as of last week, I had no cervical progress from the week prior. I was still 1cm and 70% effaced. Which is better the totally closed up and long still, but I had hoped to be a little more dilated. I know technically it doesn't mean anything really; a woman can walk around being 4cm for weeks before her baby comes and on the flip side a woman can be totally closed up until labor starts. But still, it's nice to know something's been happening. I've been having lots and lots of Braxton Hicks contractions. They aren't painful but they're pretty much constant now. And I've had more pressure since the baby's getting lower. Today's been the first day when I've thought that labor could be close. I just feel sort of "off", and my back's been achy and sort of crampy all day. I don't know. It could just be me wanting to see something that's not there yet. I do have another doctor's appointment set for Wednesday and am going to ask them their policies on induction. After all this time I guess I always figured I'd deliver early so induction was never something I really thought about. I can go 41 weeks but I'll be so mad if I have to go 42+! PLUS my Dad and Snoopy in on the 8th and will be here for 5 days. I'll be so sad if they come all the way out here and there's no baby to show them! Fortunately, I don't think that'll happen, but it's always a possibility.

All of the older moms in my life (well and I know a few younger moms, too) have been telling me that I have to nest first before the baby will come. They are all telling me that they scrubbed their kitchen floor like maniacs the day before they delivered. And they say it won't matter how clean the house is before that happens or how tired, etc, that'll I'll still do it. I just don't know! I feel like I've been nesting pretty much nonstop for the last couple weeks! I tell them I'm a sporatic nester. You know, I'll tackle one odd-ball project at a time. And what's more, is I've KEPT things clean, lol.... Those of you who know me well know that I'm pretty disorganized (though I CAN tell you where everything is!). I just can't see myself driving home from work (yep, still working) with an insatiable urge to scrub my ceiling. But maybe it'll hit me, and everyone can tell me they told me so. I also think that I might not get hit with the extra burst of energy since I've been working, then coming home and cleaning a little something and making dinner and then going to be only to wake up at 5am the next morning. Who knows?

I don't mean to sound like a super-mom-woman, that title I still reserve for my sister-in-law Amy, who worked HARD up until delivery of her last baby and then went back to work as soon as her job would let her. No. Last week I worked half-days and am planning on doing the same this week. I'm just so tired lately that I need a nap in the afternoon! Plus we hired a new lady to take over my spot so there's not a lot for me to do. I have to talk to Zack about it still, but I think this might be my last week there anyway (if I make it all week). And if Greyson still isn't here by next Thursday I'm not going to work since my dad will be here.

As for what we're planning on doing after the baby? I'm taking at least 3 months off from working, and then hopefully will find something part time (again, my mom might have a job for me where I could bring the baby, or there's another doctor's office in town who's expressed interest in hiring me, OR I know my current office would take me back, OR I'll try and find something in the evening so Zack can watch the baby while I'm out). I refuse to pay for DayCare though. Maybe I'll be eating my words, but we'll see. The only option I see where I would pay daycare is if I worked at this other office in town, since they only work Tues, Weds, Thurs, and Zack has Weds off anyway, so I'd only have to find something on Tues and Thurs. I need to make friends with more local mommies so we can swap kids when we have to work! I need to find a cool mommy group.... (*ahem Beth!* lol, we seriously need to get that going....)

My mom calls me at least 2x a day now, just to check how I'm feeling, and sometimes I'll call her an extra time. My poor mom has an unfounded fear that we're going to forget to call her when we go into labor. Seriously, what girl who has a decent relationship with their mom is going to forget to call her? We need our mommies when we become mommies! And she has this other fear that she won't hear the phone ring or something, so she's also given me the neighbor's phone numbers, just in case. lol....

Let's see, what else? I can't reach my toes anymore to paint them, so I've been splurging and getting pedicures. That's so nice! It'll probably be the last time for let's see, about 18 years? :D. Oh and I've bought a Cinch *sheepishly hides her face*. It was a little expensive, but all the other post pregnancy belly binders I looked at you had to buy a couple of sizes once your tummy starts shrinking, and this one is adjustable, so I thought it's worth it. And if it doesn't work, I'll sell it on ebay. TONS of girls buy these, I know for a fact. But if it DOES work, you best believe I'll be posting postpartum pictures of my belly.

To wrap up, we're all nervous, excited, anxious, ready, NOT ready, worried, happy, and just SO ready to meet this little person we've been thinking about for the last 9 months.